Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Reading Is Fun
McSweeney's Lists and Archives. Best. Site. EVER. Random sampling below.
Categories I'd Be Sure to Win In on the Show
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
BY MANDY SCHICK
- - - -
Regrettable Bedfellows
Errors in Check Bouncing
Foods That Taste Good When You're Hungover
Guys You Meet in Dive Bars
The Crushed Pipe Dreams of Recent College Graduates
1,001 Excuses to Avoid Going to the Gym
The Perils of Having No Health Insurance
Drunk Jenga
Phrases on the Marquee at the Local Strip Club to Cater to
a More Literate Crowd.
BY JONATHAN SHIPLEY
- - - -
Ahab, Check Out Our Great White Tail
The Old Man and the SEE
Check Out our Trollops, Anthony
The Prince and the Peeper
Our Girls Even Drive Oscar Wilde
Romeo-oh-oh and Juliet
It's Ulysses to Resist Us
A Tale of Two Titties
Our Poetry in Motion Will Have E.E. Cumming
Leaves of Ass
We're Prettier Than John Greenleaf Whittier
Strippy Longstocking
The Hos of Kilimanjaro
Ikea Product or Lord of the Rings Character?
BY CALEY FELDMAN
- - - -
1. Faramir
2. Freden
3. Grundtal
4. Boromir
5. Molger
6. Galdor
7. Freda
8. Agerum
9. Babord
10. Frodo
11. Grima
12. Akurum
13. Brunkrissla
14. Sultan Högbo
15. Deagol
16. Grimbold
Lord of the Rings characters: 1, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 15, 16.
Ikea products: 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14.
THE MAGIC 8 BALL AMENDED BY MY MOTHER
FOR MY MIDDLE-SCHOOL YEARS.
BY KATE HAHN
- - - -
Very doubtful. But you brought that on yourself.
- - - -
As I see it, yes. But when was the last time you cared what I thought?
- - - -
My sources say yes. And they have no reason to lie about seeing you at the mall in the middle of a school day.
- - - -
It is decidedly so. I just know.
- - - -
Outlook good. Let's see how long that lasts.
- - - -
Outlook not so good. See?
- - - -
Better not tell you now. You seem upset and I'm afraid you might do something irrational. At least that's what Time magazine says about teenagers.
- - - -
Signs point to yes. The incense, for one. How stupid do you think I am?
- - - -
Don't count on it. Or on much else if you keep going the way you're going.
- - - -
Yes—definitely. Oh wait, I thought that was your sister holding the ball. For you, no.
- - - -
Reply hazy. Try again when I'm off the phone with my boyfriend.
- - - -
Concentrate and ask again. I can't abide poor grammar.
- - - -
My reply is no. Crying won't change things.
- - - -
Ask again later. Maybe in 20 years, when you'll understand what you put me through.
- - - -
You may rely on it. Let's just hope "it" can rely on you, too. Poor "it."
- - - -
Yes. As long as an adult is present and your grades are good. So I guess it's actually no.
- - - -
Most likely. Especially if your friends are already doing it.
- - - -
Cannot predict now. But, if your past behavior is any indication, the results will include my picking you up at the police station at 4 a.m.
- - - -
It is certain. Everyone blames the mother.
Categories I'd Be Sure to Win In on the Show
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
BY MANDY SCHICK
- - - -
Regrettable Bedfellows
Errors in Check Bouncing
Foods That Taste Good When You're Hungover
Guys You Meet in Dive Bars
The Crushed Pipe Dreams of Recent College Graduates
1,001 Excuses to Avoid Going to the Gym
The Perils of Having No Health Insurance
Drunk Jenga
Phrases on the Marquee at the Local Strip Club to Cater to
a More Literate Crowd.
BY JONATHAN SHIPLEY
- - - -
Ahab, Check Out Our Great White Tail
The Old Man and the SEE
Check Out our Trollops, Anthony
The Prince and the Peeper
Our Girls Even Drive Oscar Wilde
Romeo-oh-oh and Juliet
It's Ulysses to Resist Us
A Tale of Two Titties
Our Poetry in Motion Will Have E.E. Cumming
Leaves of Ass
We're Prettier Than John Greenleaf Whittier
Strippy Longstocking
The Hos of Kilimanjaro
Ikea Product or Lord of the Rings Character?
BY CALEY FELDMAN
- - - -
1. Faramir
2. Freden
3. Grundtal
4. Boromir
5. Molger
6. Galdor
7. Freda
8. Agerum
9. Babord
10. Frodo
11. Grima
12. Akurum
13. Brunkrissla
14. Sultan Högbo
15. Deagol
16. Grimbold
Lord of the Rings characters: 1, 4, 6, 7, 10, 11, 15, 16.
Ikea products: 2, 3, 5, 8, 9, 12, 13, 14.
THE MAGIC 8 BALL AMENDED BY MY MOTHER
FOR MY MIDDLE-SCHOOL YEARS.
BY KATE HAHN
- - - -
Very doubtful. But you brought that on yourself.
- - - -
As I see it, yes. But when was the last time you cared what I thought?
- - - -
My sources say yes. And they have no reason to lie about seeing you at the mall in the middle of a school day.
- - - -
It is decidedly so. I just know.
- - - -
Outlook good. Let's see how long that lasts.
- - - -
Outlook not so good. See?
- - - -
Better not tell you now. You seem upset and I'm afraid you might do something irrational. At least that's what Time magazine says about teenagers.
- - - -
Signs point to yes. The incense, for one. How stupid do you think I am?
- - - -
Don't count on it. Or on much else if you keep going the way you're going.
- - - -
Yes—definitely. Oh wait, I thought that was your sister holding the ball. For you, no.
- - - -
Reply hazy. Try again when I'm off the phone with my boyfriend.
- - - -
Concentrate and ask again. I can't abide poor grammar.
- - - -
My reply is no. Crying won't change things.
- - - -
Ask again later. Maybe in 20 years, when you'll understand what you put me through.
- - - -
You may rely on it. Let's just hope "it" can rely on you, too. Poor "it."
- - - -
Yes. As long as an adult is present and your grades are good. So I guess it's actually no.
- - - -
Most likely. Especially if your friends are already doing it.
- - - -
Cannot predict now. But, if your past behavior is any indication, the results will include my picking you up at the police station at 4 a.m.
- - - -
It is certain. Everyone blames the mother.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Album of the Week
Gregor Samsa 27:36 EP
The East coast collective's new album, Rest, has its moments but I think this EP of 3 long untitled tracks, laden with wistful melodies and powerful crescendos, is their best work.
The East coast collective's new album, Rest, has its moments but I think this EP of 3 long untitled tracks, laden with wistful melodies and powerful crescendos, is their best work.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Monday, June 9, 2008
Good Eats
Don't know what this is but it sure looks good!
Macaroons. These and the dessert above are like Wayne Thiebaud paintings come to life.
Vanilla Tea. I'm more of a coffee person but this is yummy. You can really taste the vanilla, but it's not overpowering. Suffice it to say, I was fiending for a fix of 'Thé à la vanille' while in Paris, and stocked up on the stuff at Ladurée.
Creme Puff. One side had creme, the other side had ice cream. This was my favorite dessert by far.
Forgot what this one is called, but it's a pillow of whipped egg whites floating in syrupy custard, topped with whipped cream. With an umbrella. It was like eating a sugary sweet cloud. Nothing I had in Paris was overwhelmingly rich or sweet. Everything was just right.
Macaroons. These and the dessert above are like Wayne Thiebaud paintings come to life.
Vanilla Tea. I'm more of a coffee person but this is yummy. You can really taste the vanilla, but it's not overpowering. Suffice it to say, I was fiending for a fix of 'Thé à la vanille' while in Paris, and stocked up on the stuff at Ladurée.
Creme Puff. One side had creme, the other side had ice cream. This was my favorite dessert by far.
Forgot what this one is called, but it's a pillow of whipped egg whites floating in syrupy custard, topped with whipped cream. With an umbrella. It was like eating a sugary sweet cloud. Nothing I had in Paris was overwhelmingly rich or sweet. Everything was just right.
Friday, June 6, 2008
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
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