Mr. Horny the Wonder Onion and Inky, The Coolest Cephalopod Lamp There Ever Was

Mr. Horny is a red onion my roommate found on the kitchen counter one day. We liked the way it basically looked like a goofy face, so we decided to keep him. This is what the old bugger looked like upon our initial discovery...







Isn't he cute? That was about a month ago. Here's what the handsome devil looks like now. I'll be sure to plaster his lovely mug here again in 4 weeks. Then we can all enjoy his ongoing transformation together–terrible in its beauty, yet oh so fascinating. Whatever. Stay tuned, peeps.







And this of course is my beloved Inky, hands down the dopest, coolest, most awesome lamp I've ever laid eyes on. I got him last Christmas and he's been sitting on my desk at work ever since, happily keeping me company while I slave away on the computer each day. If you rub his head he brings you good luck. Octopus are very smart creatures. In fact, Inky here can probably do my moronic boss's job a whole lot better he can! Erm, wait... actually, my sister's UNBORN CHILD can do my moronic boss's job better than he can. Pathetic. But I digress. Here's Inky: